My Latest Goof

In our home the one that is responsible for paying the bills is my husband for obvious reasons.  The cell phone bill, however, is under my name.  Whenever the payment is late I am the one that receives a text to my cell phone saying that if we don't pay we will get disconnected.  I always call my husband, and he eventually takes care of it.  Last week, I received one of those texts and asked him if he wanted me to take care of it since last time we got charged a reconnection fee, and I knew that being at work he wouldn't be able to take care of it. 

I was feeling good that I was able to help him with thi,s and that it would be one less thing he would have to worry about.  I went online, looked up the bill and selected "pay now."  Of course, they ask if you want to pay the entire balance or just the past due balance.  I chose to pay the past due balance.  Everything was ok so far.  I chose my payment method, reviewed, and confirmed...oops!  As the screen was changing I realized that the payment was processed for the ENTIRE amount!  At some point it must have asked me again the amount I wanted to pay.  A detail I would have noticed if my brained would have slowed down long enough for me to have carefully reviewed the payment before confirming it.  My heart skipped a beat. We were now out almost $480!  Now what?!?!?  I couldn't believe it.  I had done it again.  All I could think of was my husband's reaction. 

I picked up the phone and called customer service.  The good news was they could refund the difference.  The bad news was it would take 4 business days and it was Thursday which meant it would actually be six days.  I told my husband what had happened when he came home.  He was clearly worried, but I explained to him that I had taken care of it and that the money would be back in our account soon. 

Luckily, this goof up has a happy ending.  I called our cell phone carrier today to check on the status of the refund, and they told me that it had been credited to our account.  I checked and the money has been there since Tuesday.  Thank God! With that resolved, I can breath easier.  I know I have to slow down and read everything more carefully, but sometimes I get over confident or I just run on automatic. 

Like just now.  I am defrosting some chicken breast for dinner.  The microwave beeped to turn it over.  I went through the whole process of reaching into the microwave, flipping them, closing the microwave and washing my hands while talking to my husband.  I then realized I hadn't turned the microwave back on.  I can't remember the actual action of flipping it though.  The only reason I know I did it is because I washed my hands so I must have touched it.  It's an awful feeling to know that I did something but can't remember it. 

Anyway, my goof up was resolved; and if I don't burn dinner tonight, it will be a good day.

A Whirlwind To Reckon With

This week, I have resolved to get back to work. I have a home business and a little online shop. Did I ever mention that? Well, I do, and this week I decided to get back to work on a new collection. So, in addition to getting back on task with my chore schedule, I have taken this on too. The two combined, plus a plethora of other daily tasks I have to stay on top of, has caused a cerebral whirlwind to be reckoned with. As I write this, I should be mopping the floors (one of the chores scheduled for Tuesdays. It is Tuesday, right? Well, it better be!). I started to move the chairs around our breakfast table but had to sit down when I felt light headed and woozy.

Yesterday wasn't much better either. I was sitting at the breakfast table working, as my husband came home from work. I had finally started some of the sewing on this project. Of course, I was hyperfocused, and his coming home meant it was time to get ready to go do groceries. The girls had to be woken up, changed and fed. I REALLY did NOT want to tear away from what I was doing--much less go do groceries--but somehow, I did. As I proceeded to the kitchen to get dinner ready, I began to have a panic attack. I couldn't breath and my chest felt tight. I froze in the middle of the kitchen. My husband held me for a moment. I couldn't even explain to him what I was feeling much less give him a give him a reason for it. I went to my comfy rocking chair, wrapped myself in a throw, and sat down. I sat there and just breathed deeply until I could think clearly. My husband took over dinner duty, and I was able to take my time getting going again.

I slowly began to relax and my thoughts felt like they were in order again. I got the girls ready, we ate, did groceries and came home. With all that done and over with, I was able to get back to work with a clearer head. And now...back to mopping...with a clearer head :) 

I'm really grateful for this outlet.  My putting all of this stuff out there into the void plus some of your responses really helps me cope and to sort through my thought and feelings.  So thank you dear void, and thanks to everyone out there reading this.

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Having A Bad Day!

Ok, so this week hasn't been a very good week for me. Life with ADD is such a roller coaster. Last week I was so energetic, optimistic and determined. This week I've been slow, and so unmotivated to do anything. I did get my upstairs loft area decluttered and straightened up. It really wasn't as bad I thought. It's still could use a dusting and a vacuuming which I should get to today. I've been keeping up with my chore schedule the best I can so it doesn't accumulate but it's not going as well as last week.

I've been researching ADD this week...again. ADD runs in my family, and I suppose I've looked at is a quirk more than as a disease so reading about it as such is pretty depressing. It's brought me down a lot, and I'm finding it hard to see the bright side of things today. I have found a lot of interesting articles about the subject, but I'm on information overload.

I didn't sleep very well last night, again. I'm starting to have trouble sleeping. I've been taking Tylenol PM to sleep and that helps sometimes, but I try not to use it all the time. My daughter has a toy camera that talks. Last night she insisted on sleeping with it. Well, every time she turned it would talk and wake everyone up. Finally, at 4 a.m. I went in there and took it away. Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well, and I think I may be feeling the effects of it. I am sluggish and developing a migraine.

It's been gloomy and rainy all week. That hasn't helped. I usually enjoy this kind of weather, but it does nothing for my energy and motivation.

My oldest daughter, who is almost 3, hasn't been taking her afternoon nap consistently. She has always been a good sleeper and that nap usually gives me 3-4 hours to myself. She does stay in her room playing quietly most of the time instead of napping. I just hope this doesn't mark the end of her nap time. I love her to death and she's a great kid but I need the time to myself.

Finding What Works

I have to admit that I am finding it very hard to follow my chore schedule strictly, but as I mentioned in my other post, that's not what this is about. It's about baby steps.  I have named a goal: following my weekly chore schedule.  My first step to being successful at it is making the chores a part of my routine.  There are some that are easy to get done and I don't mind so much like vacuuming, mopping, picking up toys, doing laundry and others that I absolutely hate doing like cleaning bathrooms, washing dishes, cooking.  Like it or not they have to get done.  I also have good days when I am full of energy and feel motivated to tackle anything. I take advantage of those days and add an extra chore.  That way on the bad days when I'm sluggish and having difficulty focusing I can skip a chore and just focus on maintaining the house neat; picking up toys, washing dishes, etc.  I try to get most of it done early in the day so I don't have to worry about it the rest of the day.  Once the chore for the day is done, I feel accomplished and the anxiety subsides. 

Writing down a weekly menu has taken the fuss out of grocery shopping.  I make a list before heading out, and I know exactly what I need to buy so I'm not overwhelmed at the supermarket.   Sandy Maynard from ADDitude Magazine put it this way: "Supermarkets seem to be designed to play tricks on the ADD mind, with their eye-catching displays, seductive product packaging, and food choices too numerous to count. And all those 'on sale' signs? They’re rocket fuel for impulsive types.  Other shoppers stroll up and down the aisles, placidly loading their carts and checking items off their lists. We ADDers stand there, frozen like, well, a box of frozen veggies: Should we go for the chopped or the julienne string beans?" The picture on the right is a pretty good representation of this.  I also found it in ADDitude Magazine.  I create my list with a handy little app for my Android phone and text it to my husband.  We go together and split the grocery list.  That way, we are done in half the time.

Writing out my routine has helped both me AND my daughters.  There's no freezing up wondering what to do next.  I've been sticking to my routine pretty well so they are getting used to it, and they pretty much know what to expect and have fewer melt downs.  I've scheduled time for them when I read them a story or get down on the floor and play with them so when it's time for me to work they aren't fighting for my attention. 

It's not a perfect system but considering I'm not on any meds at the moment I have to expect some downfalls.  Hopefully, once I start treatment again things will go smoother. Until then, I'll continue with baby steps and writing about it.

I'd like to know what works for you?

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So I spent all of last week trying to follow my new chore schedule.  It was so great to not have to make a decision about what to do each day. Everything was planned in advance from chores to meals and it took a lot of stress and anxiety away.  The decision process was brought down to the bare minimum.  All I had to do was decide to do it.  Not as easy as it sounds, LOL.  I have to admit that sometimes the procrastination got to me and some things were left undone or postponed.  It's okay though.  I'm not beating myself up over it.  I'll just tackle it this week.  I need to remain flexible with this process or I'll drive myself insane.  

All in all, I'm satisfied.  I tackled one of my problem spots that had me anxiety ridden; the laundry room.  I wasn't able to finish all the laundry because I had to tackle the clutter first, but I should be able to finish everything come next laundry day.   

I haven't taken medication for the ADD for a couple of years. I was on Strattera, and frankly, I hate how it made me feel.  I felt light headed or numb and my appetite completely went away which made it really hard to plan meals and do groceries.  This led me to try to overcome some of this on my own.  I have an appointment to get re-evaluated for ADHD and social anxiety, and I have another one to begin treatment so I'm hoping that once I get back on medication and proper treatment that some of this will be easier.  

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